The new Haima S5 Young has been launched on the Chinese auto market. As its name implies it is aimed at young car buyers, and not at the old and elderly and not even at the middle aged. Only at the young, all the others got to stay away. This sadly means I will not be able to buy one as I am very old indeed. I so wish Haima would make a car called S5 Old. Others might prefer an S5 Dead.

There it is! The badge on the back. Other drivers will immediately know you are young, and they will horn at you, and thumbs up at you, because they are happy for you, that you are so young.

How much for all this nonsensical marketing madness? Price starts at 75.800 yuan and ends at 79.800 yuan. There in only one engine available, a rather old (not young) 1.6 with 122hp and 160nm. The gearbox is also old-fashioned (not young-fashioned): a five (05) speed manual. No automatic available. Odd choice by Haima. Young people here hate manual ‘boxes. Power goes to the front wheels.

Size: 4195/1765/1637, and wheelbase is 2560.

The Haima S5 Young SUV should not be confused with the Haima S5 SUV. Although the share a part of their name they have nothing in common. The S5 is larger, stands on a different platform, uses different engines, and sells in a higher segment.

Haima tried to make the S5 Young attractive for the young by adding all sorts of wild lines to its design. This they complemented with black wheel arches, black pillars, a sexy rear-window spoiler, roof rails to attach the canoe to, and a shark fin antenna.

Haima disappoints inside. Young people like colors, not gray and black and drab and gray. But the gear lever knob looks kinda cool.

Dials are analogue with a small TFT in between. Young people like digital clusters with loads of things moving and showing. Haima tried with blue in the dials. Speedy goes to 240 while the rated top speed is 180. Wild…

The graphics are not bad. It has radio, a USB slot, Bluetooth, a Haima connectivity system called SiViLink, and a cool image of the car. It does not have Apple CarPlay or Baidu CarLife. The screen measures 8 inches.

There is plenty of space in the back as demonstrated by this sweet little lady wearing pink socks. Red stitching on the seats is sporty and the sun roof is huge.

Lights are trendily small. Door handles are a bit weird, in body color with a black strip on top. Maybe I just don’t get that because I am too old. No pipe tips in the bumper, real or fake. The pipe can be seen on the right side just to the left of the right rear wheel.

Grille is good. Well. I can’t judge really judge this car. I need help. Are you, dear reader, young? And if so, would you consider the Haima S5 Young? Why or why not? Please let me know in the comments below.